Dear Men, We’re More Interested in What You do in Bed Than Your Penis Size
Stop obsessing over your penis.
A UCLA study on penis size revealed that 84% of women were satisfied with their partner’s size, 12% wished their partner were bigger and only 2% wished they were smaller.
This means seven out of eight women were ok with an average penis, and only one out of eight women preferred a bigger penis. Which begs the question, why obsess about penis size?
For long women have been churning out clichés like,
It’s not the size of the boat that matters, it’s the motion in the ocean, or it’s not the length of the wand, but the magic in the stick.
IT’S TRUE.
We are more interested in what you do with all of you than your penis size. Sex is more than how two genitals fit in each other. For great sex, we need all of you and not just your penis.
Don’t take my word; look at the different erogenous zones of women.
The clitoris which is the most erogenous is situated outside the vagina, so no penetration is needed to excite her. And guess what? 1 in 3 women reported that clitoral stimulation was necessary to reach orgasm.
The penis is just one of the many things at play during sex.
Most women are well to go with the right amount of foreplay, nipple teasing, and neck kissing.
If a man has nine inches, is a selfish lover, and sucks at foreplay, none of that length or girth will bring us to orgasm. And quite frankly, most men with larger-than-average dicks tend to suck in bed. Simply because they think their penis will do everything for them.
Georgia Gardiner, a junior stockbroker from Leeds, Yorkshire shares her experience:
“He was super confident about his size and told me women loved it. He expected me to be thrilled. When we had sex, he didn’t put much effort in. He assumed his size meant he didn’t need to do much to pleasure me, which was not only true, but also a real turn off. The size of his penis limited the positions we could try. I didn’t look forward to sex and at times it was painful.”
According to data compiled by clinicians who follow a standardized measuring procedure, the average penis size is 5.16 inches when erect.
If you compare yourself to a pornstar, you may never measure up. Not because they all have big dicks but because of camera angles, fish-eye lenses, and selecting performers with enormous genitalia. With all these tactics, they fooled us all and created a culture of sexually anxious and insecure men.
I can assure you: If you combine the inches you have with good foreplay, oral sex, and a vibrator- no one will care what size your penis is.
Samantha, 28 and a physical therapist, shares her experience
“I dated a guy who had a pretty small dick and I got off every time. Whenever we had sex, he was trying something different. He was really into toys, using things like vibrating tongue ring, or using my vibrator when he went down on me. When we did foreplay, we would also use props, handcuffs, blindfolds, and ice. A couple of times we did anal plugs and a cock ring.”
I must admit there was a time I wanted a well-endowed man. I was misinformed and inexperienced. From TV, novels, and porn I got the idea that penetrative sex always led to orgasm. When it couldn’t happen for me no matter how long he pounded. I was sure his penis size was the issue.
I was wrong. The problem wasn’t his size or my vagina. It was sex, I go into detail here.
The point is, sex is more than genitals rubbing against each other. Sex is a full-body experience, and your penis penetrating our vagina is the cherry on the cake.
If your penis is small, then you’re the perfect size for doggy style. This position gives maximum penetration, and if you add a pillow under her belly, it will blow her mind.
For anal sex, most women are willing to take as big as the average penis size. which means a smaller penis is perfect for anal.
Suppose you’re still self-conscious of your size. Take heart. You’re not alone. Though I don’t have a penis, I know insecurity.
I’m an African woman. People expect me to have a typical African physique; fleshy butt, full breasts, and an hourglass figure. Most men love that. But I’m just naturally slim. Would I trade my body for an African figure? probably…. ok yes, yes, I would. But I can’t, you know what I did instead.
I stopped obsessing about it and worked with what I had.
Sometimes obsession with size has nothing to do with women.
It has to do with feeling like a man. Often, we’re told that size determines manliness. No wonder everyone is obsessed with it.
The problem with this notion is that self-esteem and confidence depend on something no one has control over. Men then adopt fragile egos that women have to tiptoe around.
What many tend to forget is that preference always changes.
There was a time when small penises were sought after and considered more attractive. This persisted through the renaissance; consider Michelangelo’s David and other nude sculptors.
The length of the penis did not determine manliness but the size of one’s scrotum. A bigger scrotum was assumed to store more sperm making a man manlier, while the penis was just a device to release sperm.
During the second half of the nineteenth century, when pornographic films became popular, things changed. These films were mainly for masturbation, so the focus turned to genitals. Larger penises captured well on screen. It changed everything. This goes back to the point that preference is always changing.
Jennifer Crocker, Ph.D., a psychologist at the University of Michigan’s Institution for Social Research, performed a series of research on self-esteem.
She noted that when self-worth was placed on external factors like looks, penis size, etc., a person had more stress, anger issues, relationship problems, eating disorders, and consumed higher drug and alcohol abuse levels.
The only solution is radical self-acceptance. Whether you have a small or big penis, you’re in charge. And I do not doubt that whatever package you are packing, you can still rock the boat.
Thanks for reading. I’m Dona Mwiria. You can read more from me by signing up for my Medium email list here. Buy me a coffee here.
If you enjoy this you might like to read:
Why Moaners, Groaners, and Screamers are the Best Women to Bed on Medium.