Discovering Cervical Orgasms Helped Me Finally Climax Through Penetration Alone
How the right kind of sex upended what I thought sex was all about
I feel cheated.
Cheated by the shortage of sex information I had in my younger years. I thank the pitiful sex education I received when I was a kid. They taught me everything about how to reproduce and absolutely nothing about how to enjoy sex, explore my sexuality, and be a responsible sexual adult.
I remember the diagrams with all the anatomical parts. I remember the explanations of how people got pregnant. I remember giggling through pictures of actual human genitalia. I remember blushing through the part about safe sex and STIs.
But I don’t remember a thorough discussion about orgasms and how they happen, let alone the different kinds of orgasms women can experience.
I went most of my life not having any penetrative orgasms. Like most women, I never had one for the entirety of my sexual history. They were this mythical thing that people talked about, that porn showed, but that didn’t happen in real life.
Like an urban legend that kids pass around, ghost stories and creepypastas swapped from creative mind to creative mind, exhilarating fantasies that have nothing to do with reality.
Back in the grind of the real world, my orgasms always required manual stimulation on my part. I would sometimes ask my partners to sit still, so I could do the work. It was the only way I was going to get off with most people.
I was able to accept this facet of my life. But every man I was with took it personally. And sometimes, it emotionally destroyed them.
I spent my whole life believing that penetrative orgasms were a myth entirely and that the other women who talked about them were lying to impress men and avoid the discomfort of hurting their feelings.
After a handful of sexual experiences, I realized it was time to start issuing a disclaimer to new boyfriends. I started telling guys upfront that my anatomy is a little weird, and it’s not easy to get me off. I told them I had to get myself off during penetrative sex manually, or it would never happen.
Overzealous men would always assure me that they’d take care of me whenever we’d first start talking. They promised explosive penetrative sex every time. They told me that they’d go down on me and bring me to climax “within seconds,” swinging their proverbial manhood around with words rather than actions.
But talk is cheap.
Talk doesn’t lead to orgasms.
And no one ever delivered. Not once.
Every guy I explored my sexuality with started with the same high hopes as the last guy. They all knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that they would finally be the guy who sent me to the moon.
And they all predictably crashed and burned right after takeoff.
It wasn’t until I began seeing my most recent partner that he showed me the light. Our first experiences were mind-blowing. One time, as we lay in my bed, he wrapped his legs around mine, entangled like a sea of serpents, as we slowly worked our way into penetrative sex.
He pushed inside me and worked his way in at a slight angle rather than head-on. The angle he used not only provided more friction along the walls of my vagina, but it also did something else — it allowed him to reach my cervix.
Holy wow.
My eyes melted into the back of my head. I’d never felt anything quite like it. After all the years of having sex and just accepting that I’d never reach climax through penetration alone, I suddenly felt as if it was in reach.
It was a sensation I’d never experienced before, and one that I didn’t know was possible.
I could tell you that it was all the kissing, the build-up, the anticipation, the anal play, the great oral sex that preceded the penetration, or any number of things that make our sex incredible. But none of that would be it.
It was the fact that he could reach his way into my depths. And I don’t mean the depths of my emotion. I mean the depths of me.
As it turns out, cervical orgasms, are the only way I can climax through penetrative sex. And even then, it doesn’t always happen.
That first time, I didn’t get off. But I knew it was possible. We tried a few more times, and eventually, he brought me to my first orgasm without manual stimulation. Tears rushed outward and down along my cheeks. The emotions I felt that night were a mixture of sadness, joy, and confusion. It’s hard to explain.
You have to understand, I’d been dealing with this all my life.
And suddenly, it was like the wool was lifted from over my eyes. I felt like everything I’d ever known about sex since girlhood was a lie. Or at least it was a fraction of the truth.
And that brings me back to sex education.
About Cervical Orgasms
Healthline explains the three fundamental branches of the kinds of orgasms women can have. Gentlemen, if you’re trying to up your game, take notes.
The three branches are the clitoral orgasm, the vaginal orgasm, and the anal orgasm—each of these results from stimulation of the corresponding area.
But some have proposed more specific categories. One of them is the cervical orgasm, the orgasm that happens when the back wall of the vagina is stimulated. In other words, the cervix.
We still don’t know everything about cervical orgasms or if all women can have them.
And some women report cervical contact as being painful.
A 2000 study found that 35% of the women included in the study were capable of having cervix-only orgasms, while many more women used the cervix to help them climax (while stimulating other parts of their nether regions).
After this incident, the first thing I did was what most women would do in my shoes. I called my girlfriends to brag about how awesome my boyfriend was in bed. I called one of my friends and explained that I’d finally had a penetrative orgasm after years and years.
The first woman I called busted out laughing.
“What? What is it?” I asked her.
I thought she didn’t believe me at first.
“Oh, my boyfriend and I have known this forever!” she replied.
I was confused.
“It’s true,” she said, “I can’t climax without anal stimulation. I’ve never been able to. I tried and tried and tried with different men, but nobody could ever get me there until my boyfriend. We’ve been together for years now, and it never fails.”
I was perplexed.
But her boyfriend confirmed.
And you know what? It made sense the more I thought about it. Our anatomies are complex with complex needs, and there’s no one-size-fits-all solution that works with every woman. No two women are the same, and our orgasms might be more like fingerprints than replicas.
She needed anal orgasms to get off—just like I needed cervical ones.
This complicates the sex talk even more than before, but I think it’s smart to start having these discussions beforehand with our partners.
That way, we can explore and play together (which sounds fun to me) and learn about one another. And what could be more intimate than that?
I know it’s complicated, but hear me out. If you haven’t found your spot yet, you might be waiting for the right time, place, and partner to help you discover it.
Meanwhile, what will it take for us to get some high-quality sex education for our children? What will it take to finally abandon the idea of abstinence-only sex ed once and for all?
Thanks for reading. This is my first post with The Science of Sex on Substack.
You can check out my own Substack here. It’s mostly free content, for now. Follow me on Medium here.
How exciting for you Nicole! From what I understand in tantra, cervical orgasms are the holy grail of orgasms. Kim Anami talks about this a lot, and the connection between the cervix and a deep heart opening connection. Also, Olivia and her work at Self: Cervix is great. And yet with all this, a lot of the medical field refuses to believe the cervix can feel pleasure or is innervated to do so. Inspiring article.