How Long Should Sex Last — Does Time Really Matter?
The Goldilocks approach — not too short, not too long, but just right
“I’m the freaking Energizer bunny!”
My roommate yelled this as he came downstairs into the living room. He had been in his room with his girlfriend for some period of time, during which I guess he had been having sex.
“She called me an Energizer bunny because I go all day and all night!”
Unsure if he wanted congratulations or a prize, I just gave him a bemused smile and went back to watching TV. He was so proud of himself for the fact he had sex for a long time.
But it got me thinking, how long is too long? Or too short? Don’t we all want to find a sex partner who is just right?
Before we get to the sex, let’s look at some stats.
As a little foreplay, let’s start with some stats to use as our baseline for determining the length of sex.
A survey by sex toy company Lovehoney found that for most heterosexual couples, sex lasts 19 minutes on average. This was broken down into 10 minutes of foreplay and nine minutes of actual intercourse.
52% were happy with the duration of sex, while 23% of men and 19% of women said they wanted longer time between the sheets. Or on top of the sheets. Or the couch. Or wherever they were having sex.
Another study of sex therapists asked respondents to comment on what they considered an appropriate time.
They found:
Less than 3 minutes is cause for clinical concern
3–7 minutes is “adequate.”
7–13 minutes is “desirable.”
10–30 minutes is “too long.”
No one pointed out that 10–13 minutes would be considered both desirable and too long, but hey, these are sex therapists, not mathematicians.
A 2014 study found that same-sex female couples reported longer sex sessions than either same-sex male couples or couples consisting of one female and one male.