Modern Pornography May Finally Close the “Orgasm Gap”
Female sexuality is gaining the recognition it deserves and it’s a win-win.
Pornography has garnered quite a reputation since it first came out. It has evoked so much negativity that many have overlooked its positive impact on closing the orgasm gap.
For those who don’t know, the “orgasm gap” is that women in heterosexual relationships achieve far fewer orgasms than their male counterparts, mainly because the focus of sex has been penis, penetration, and ejaculation.
Today more and more women actively seek sexual pleasure and prioritize their orgasms. And what are they turning to?… yep, you guessed it, PORN.
A whopping 89% of women admit to watching porn, not out of curiosity for the very purpose of arousal. This shift in mentality has paid off because women who view porn reported frequent orgasms and higher quality sex than women who didn’t.
To prove that porn was responsible for these positive effects and not merely related to it. Researchers at the Western University randomly assigned funny videos, erotic videos, and videos focusing on clitoral stimulation to female undergraduates.
It turned out that women who watched erotic and porn videos had better knowledge of their genital anatomy. And women who view porn portraying clitoral stimulation were more likely to stimulate their clitoris during partnered sex, thus increasing the chances of orgasm.
“Knowledge is power,” said Thomas Jefferson. It proves to be true here too.
Modern porn has empowered women with the knowledge that sex education couldn’t give us. It’s shifting the focus from the penis in vagina fucking to more creative ways of stimulating the clit. And since the clitoris has three times more nerve ending than a penis, this means women get to enjoy sex just as much as men, if not more.
Amateur Porn changed the game
I remember a friend of mind confiding in me of her fear of fellatio. “My boyfriend keeps asking to go down on me,” she said, “but I’m way too self-conscious, my vulva is not pornstar perfect.” I could relate, except I would only allow oral sex if the lights were off.
When amateur porn became more popular, it changed the game.
Viewers were exposed to diverse body types, and women could finally see vulvas varying in shapes, sizes, and colors. We could finally see different lengths of labia and various clitoral hoods. The diversity was outstanding!
Men consuming this porn became more receptive, and women became more confident. It became easier for us to give ourselves over to the experience of sex.
Amateur porn did a great job at representing our genitalia and depicting a more realistic version of us, and that is what women needed to let their freak out.
Porn needed feminine touch to smooth out its edges
Mainstream porn often shows sex as “something men do to women” or “something women do for men.” On various occasions, I’ve expressed my displeasure and concern.
Female-directed porn puts me at ease, unlike conventional porn that focuses on 15–30 minutes of a penis in vagina fucking. Female-directed porn is more story-driven; it aims to sustain passion, build sexual tension, and connect with the viewer.
Women have even reported that viewing porn helped increase their libido. The magic is in the detail of porn. Female directors know that our libido cannot be summoned; it needs to be evoked. This knowledge has helped countless women. It works because the largest sexual organ is the brain; when porn incorporates psychological, emotional, and physical stimulation, sex, whether partnered or solo, is so much better.
Female-directed porn focuses more on the female gaze. It helps men learn how to please women and permits women to define their pleasure. And it has given us all a more healthy and realistic outlook on sex.
Not everyone will benefit from watching porn
They are two types of people who are advised not to watch porn, as it will cause more harm than good. The first types are highly religious and those that hold solid conservative values that prohibit pornography.
Despite the positives inherent in porn, it’s important not to engage in any activity that violates your boundaries — forcing one to view it against their values will likely cause shame and guilt, which ultimately wreaks havoc on our sex lives.
A study spearheaded by Nicole Prause, Ph.D., a neuroscientist, and licensed psychologist at the Sexual Psychophysiology and Affective Neuroscience Laboratory illustrates this.
In one of her peer-reviewed articles published in Sexual Medicine, she noticed that men who indulged in porn and felt shame or guilt experienced erectile dysfunction. In comparison, those who didn’t feel shame or guilt showed no signs of erectile dysfunction.
In women, deep-rooted guilt and shame result in varying degrees of sexual dysfunction such as pain during sex, difficulty becoming aroused or relaxing during sex, low libido, or no interest in sex.
This shows that the meaning we assign to sexual activities directly impacts our sex lives.
The second type of person less likely to benefit from porn is those who conceal their habits from their partners.
The act of hiding implies that you’re ashamed of your urges or feel guilty for having them. Porn itself is never the problem. To understand this, researchers investigated the effect of pornography on relationships.
They found that couples with differing opinions blamed porn for their relationship issues and often suffered secondary problems like overuse, guilt, and cheating.
While couples who shared similar views and consumed porn, whether together or apart, were less likely to be a problem, and secondary effects rarely happened, if at all. Further proving that porn is not the problem but underlying issues present in the relationship.
If you’re neither of these two types, then enjoy using porn to bridge the orgasm gap.
In conclusion
Porn has progressed this far, all thanks to amateur porn and the boom in female-directed pornography. Porn is becoming more inclusive and closing the orgasm gap one day at a time.
In the name of I hope to see more porn directed by trans women, black women, disabled people, and older people. The voices of people that are either stereotyped, fetishized, or others not represented at all will be heard and better portrayed. After all, A fresh new perspective on porn is what we need.
If you can’t beat them, join them.
Porn is here to stay. So like a tool, let’s use it for a better society. Let us tweak and improve it for a better experience. The more accommodating porn becomes, the better our sex lives become.
Thanks for reading. I’m Dona Mwiria. You can read more from me by signing up for my Medium email list here. Buy me a coffee here.
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Why Moaners, Groaners, and Screamers are the Best Women to Bed on Medium.