Study Uncovers the Secret to Keeping the Romance Alive for the Long Haul
What 38,747 couples can teach us about keeping the flame alive...
Love is insane.
Cupid must dip his arrows in a trademarked cocktail of serotonin, dopamine, and adrenaline, all in perfect amounts to hijack your nervous system and make you stupid.
Think about what it’s like to fall in love with someone…
You’re walking around, minding your own business, and next thing you know, you’re overcome with an insatiable urge—you’re swallowed up by this weird, sudden attraction for someone that just won’t go away. Your whole body screams at you, telling you how much you adore this person.
Everything they do is simultaneously cute, funny, and sexy as hell.
It’s like you’ve been drugged.
Try as they might, your friends will never talk you out of it. Suddenly, you find yourself constantly thinking about the person you’re infatuated with. You have crazy amounts of energy. Your appetite for sex is unrivaled. You feel more alive than ever.
Love is a drug that makes you feel superhuman—but only for a little while.
Like all drugs, it must wear off.
Infatuation =/= Love
You naturally go from solidifying your bond to maintaining it.
Our culture focuses on how to obtain love, and it forgets we have to maintain love.
The same goes for sex.
One common misconception about love is that the feeling of infatuation is the same thing as love.
Another common misconception is that the intensity of the initial spark is a sign of the compatibility of the two people falling in love.
Neither of these is true.
Ever fallen in love with someone who was downright bad for you? I rest my case.
No matter how robust the attraction is in the beginning, eventually, we’re going to have to work to maintain the relationship we’ve established.
No one is exempt (sorry to burst your bubble). But that doesn’t mean we have to be condemned to a passionless love life indefinitely—we mustn’t be condemned to the sexless rot of the dead bedroom.
Most of the time, we need to adjust our expectations and put in a bit of effort, that’s all.