The Coolidge Effect: Why Passion Wanes in Relationships & What You Can Do About It

Rethinking “healthy” sexual desire—the Coolidge Effect and its Implications on human sexual health

Photo by Niclas Dehmel on Unsplash

We all know that boundless, inexplicable surge of energy you get when you start a new relationship that tends to wane over time. It comes on quickly like a drug injected straight into the bloodstream. As I always like to say, Cupid must dip his arrows in a cocktail of serotonin, dopamine, and norepinephrine in perfect amounts to make us both high and stupid at the same time.

The scientific term for that is limerence.

“NRE,” we call it.

“New relationship energy.”

Others call it puppy love, and still others call it infatuation. Whatever you want to call it, we all know the feeling. And you probably know that what goes up must eventually come down. When love and lust soar to new heights, a crash is inevitable.

That crash, too, has a name — it’s called the Coolidge Effect.

The Coolidge Effect is a strange phenomenon that’s been observed in organisms as different as rats and snails. When two organisms mate, they tend to be more attracted to each other in the beginning, and, over time, the passion wanes. For decades, research has suggested it’s more prominent in males (in all species) than females.

Named after an anecdote involving President Calvin Coolidge, this strange phenomenon explains how novelty and variety can impact our sexual arousal and drive.

The internet is littered with articles about “rekindling that romantic spark” or making your relationship feel new again. Various magazines promise that if you just read their magazine and apply the tricks contained therein, you can reverse your waning desire. The steps are always conspicuously simple, too, which is usually a sign that you’re being sold something that doesn’t work.

The Coolidge Effect seems to be universally experienced. But nobody talks about it, at least not in relation to themselves. Sometimes, even medical practitioners neglect it when it would be smart to talk about it, as you’ll soon see.

Let’s go over the history and science of it all and then I’ll get into some practical tips and philosophical outlooks that can help you in your relationships starting today.

The Coolidge Effect: A Brief History

The Coolidge Effect was first observed in animal experiments during the 1950s. Researchers found that when male rats were exposed to a sexually receptive female, the males exhibited heightened sexual arousal and activity.

But after repeated copulation sessions, the male’s interest and performance declined significantly. Mating sessions became less and less frequent, and the two were just less interested in each other as time went on.

Here comes the twist: when a new female was introduced, the male rats displayed renewed interest, demonstrating increased sexual motivation and vigor.

The name “Coolidge Effect” stems from a popular anecdote involving President Calvin Coolidge and his wife, Grace.

The story goes that during their visit to a poultry farm, Mrs. Coolidge asked the farmer why his rooster was mating multiple times a day, to which the farmer replied that the rooster was “doing it for a living.”

Amused by this, Mrs. Coolidge then inquired whether the rooster mated with the same hen each time, to which the farmer replied, “Oh no, ma’am, he has different hens each time.”

Upon hearing this, Mrs. Coolidge remarked, “Tell that to the President when he comes by.” President Coolidge, upon hearing the story, supposedly found it amusing and coined the term “Coolidge Effect” to describe the phenomenon.

But, the plot thickens…

Later research found that female rats experienced the Coolidge Effect, too, meaning it’s not limited to just the males. Presumably, this goes for humans as well.