The Science of Sex: 2000+ Subscribers and Climbing + News & Updates
The Science of Sex has crossed the 2,000 subscriber mark and we're growing fast.
Hey everyone,
I hope you’re all doing wonderfully and your lives are fulfilling, vital, purposeful, and joyous. It’s too easy to get bogged down in an all-too-heavy seriousness in today’s world, where most of our communication takes place online.
People don’t relate to one another the same online as they do in person. All the delicate intricacies of our unspoken experiences vanish in forums where we’re forced to rely almost exclusively on text and little else.
And we just treat people differently, don’t we? On some level, we can’t help it. When we’re talking to others online, we’re talking to an avatar. Trolls, bots, and all the other unsavory characters of the online experience are ubiquitous—they’re everywhere you turn.
I was just telling my friend the other day, if the various social media sites of Twitter, Meta, TikTok, YouTube, Instagram, you name it, were a bar, I definitely wouldn’t hang out there. I don’t mind a little trouble in life, but online you constantly run into pointless trouble that’s perplexing.
That’s why the “dead-internet theory” feels true, even though it’s not. The theory supposes that years ago, the internet was replaced with AI chat bots and besides your personal friends, everyone else is fake.
It’s obviously nothing more than a whack conspiracy theory, undeserving of the title of theory. But I think it’s an apt description (as well as a condemnation) of the online spaces we’ve built and their problems.
Which is part of why I’m so incredibly, unbelievably thankful to have this space, a place where dialogues are friendly, respectful, sane, and intriguing. It’s rare that you find places online that feel more like home than a digital representation of a blood-soaked warzone. But I feel that sense of calm whenever I log in and check out what’s going on here.
After a while of doing this, I realized that sexuality by itself was too limited.
Building a Community: 2000 Followers and Counting
I’ve expanded The Science of Sex to cover relationships and other topics, in part because I feel that it’s very much needed in today’s world, and in part because I truly believe that sex and relationships underpin every single engagement we have with others. I also believe that science can help us understand 99% of those experiences and processes we have, even the bad ones.
I don't want this to be a place where people come check out a video or read an article I’ve written and leave. I welcome Substack Notes with open arms and love comments, even when they disagree with me. In this forum, I feel safe and secure engaging with others, like I don’t have trolls and bullshitters lurking at every turn. And I sincerely hope you feel that way here too.
What an incredible community we’ve built over the past year and a half. And when I say community, I’m not paying lip-service to another buzz-word to hit you in the feels.
We are a community of likeminded people from all countries and backgrounds.
I say that to transition into this: I’m both unbelievably thrilled and indescribably thankful to announce that The Science of Sex community has hit another major milestone in crossing the 2,000 subscriber mark!
Sure, there are probably finance gurus and click-bait-carbon-copy replicas out there spewing the same tired tropes we’ve all heard thousands of times with tens or even hundreds of thousands of followers.
But I’d rather The Science of Sex have 2,000 followers who are passionate about what we’re talking about and supportive of what we’re doing here than a million followers who just clicked follow because they think it’ll help them “make it” and get rich.
Maybe I’m biased, but I feel like we’re doing something meaningful here in a world where sex and relationships, the right for individuals to be themselves, is under constant assault.
Interviews This Week
Speaking of. I’ve got three video interviews coming up this week. One of those is going to be on what we’re dubbing The War on Sex, with sex researcher and psychologist David Ley, Ph.D., and we have a lot to cover.
Today, I’ll be speaking with Renata Gomes again and we’re going to discuss the role money plays in relationship decision-making and attraction. I plan on debunking a lot of myths about what the science does and does not say about how money impacts relationships as well as some personal philosophy of mine to hopefully help you in your life. I’ve been doing the research for this conversation for two months, digging through piles of science papers and finding some surprising facts about what most people think they know on the subject. Hint: there will be a lot of myth busting.
This weekend, I’ll be speaking to Jonathan Kent, the author of the book A World Beyond Monogamy: How People Make Polyamory and Open Relationships Work and What We Can All Learn From Them. The title is a mouthful and it should be—it’s a definitive, massive work on all types of relationships, extending far beyond just polyamory. The discoveries and ideas contained in this work don’t just apply to a small niche of poly people—they truly can be applied to anyone’s life, no matter what their background or relationship structure. It’s incredibly well-written and it features an abundance of interviews from a wide variety of people from extremely diverse backgrounds. Jonathan is from the United Kingdom, so I’m looking forward to having a chat about the differences in relationships between America and England.
Additionally, I’ll be having the interview with David Ley, Ph.D., about the various forces that are trying to smother human sexuality, from gender-related bans to contraception and sexual health bans, and importantly, the psychology behind why people become so hostile about relationships and sexuality. David is a licensed psychologist and a researcher I’ve cited many, many times here on The Science of Sex in my own writing, so I’m stoked to actually sit down and finally have a talk with him.
I’ve been planning these interviews for months, so I’m glad to see them finally coming to fruition. A theme that all three of them will share is what I hope to be impactful discussions that help viewers navigate their own relationships in an increasingly complex world.
I’ll let you be the judge.
If you have any ideas in mind that you’d like me to cover or discuss, or anyone you’d like me to interview, I’ve created a feedback form so you can speak your mind.
For those who’ve been subscribed for a while, I’ve created a form you can fill out if you’d like to point me in the right direction. This will help me create better content that suits your personal needs. It’s only eight questions and it can be found here.
For Medium readers, I’m still the Editor-in-Chief of the largest sexual education publication on Medium, Sexography and you can subscribe to receive an email every time I publish about science, sex, the science of sex, and relationships here.
I also have another account that discusses politics, tech, and other stuff here.
If you like what we’re doing here, feel free to subscribe below or update your subscription.
Again, I sincerely thank you for subscribing to The Science of Sex and even if just one article changes your life for the better, I’ll consider that an honor.
Full disclosure: this article has affiliate links to Jonathan’s book and I’ll receive a small commission in case you decide to buy a copy through the link provided.