The Science of Why You Love to Give Oral Sex
Science discusses why (some of us) absolutely love to give oral sex
Your capillaries expand, your blood vessels widen, your pupils dilate; your muscles tense up and you feel your belly fill with excitement, the usual unstoppable and undeniable butterflies that coincide with the usual rush of dopamine. Your brain might as well be resting in a vat of intoxicating chemicals — because it is, and that vat is your skull.
Every single cell in your body is on overdrive and is screaming at you to proceed and replenish the world with your genes and those that lay before you like the soft, angelic image an exquisite vagina rests right in front of your face. The hunger within you becomes you, like that unshakeable hunger of a famished lion, and your mouth is suddenly overflowing with a palpable and thick wetness that’s begging you to lap up all you can and devour this precious gift — or noteworthy prize.
Arousal is guaranteed.
If I had to summarize the feeling of giving oral sex to someone who’d never done so, this is what I’d tell them. I’d pull no punches in lauding the experience in all of its beauty of grandeur.
Oral sex is both a full-body experience and an out-of-body experience, it titillates every muscle in my body and begs me to satiate the desire within. When it comes to kinks, I’ve tried them all. Every fetish thinkable under the sun within the bounds of legal, I’ve been there and done that and probably written the article on it.
Nonetheless, if I had to say that I had one fetish giving oral sex would certainly be it. Perhaps it’s a flaw, perhaps it’s a disconnect in the wiring somewhere, but any sex that’s absent going down on someone feels sort of incomplete to me.
Others are welcome to disagree, that’s the beauty of pluralism, though those that do likely won’t find themselves in my bedroom anytime soon (though I hope they're happy in their bedrooms doing whatever tickles them).
But what is it that makes oral sex so wonderful for those of us who love it?
I decided to do some digging so I could better understand the ins and outs of oral sex, especially pertaining to why we oral sex stans seem to love it so much.
And to start things off, let’s take a stroll off the beaten path and into the clandestine world of infidelity to see what we can learn about our desire for oral sex from there.
What Do Cheaters Tell Us About Oral Sex?
Their entire business model is dedicated to infidelity. They’re liaison-mongers, perfidy profiteers, a company not unlike Ashley Madison that specializes in helping people find their passion in extra-marital affairs called Victoria Milan. It’s a hookup site for people looking to hook up with people who aren’t their significant others.
Back in 2017, they conducted a rather strange study that tells us a lot about oral sex. They sent out a survey to their active members. In total, 9,107 active members heeded the call of duty.
Turns out, people who like to cheat also really love oral sex. Setting aside the obvious, that a lot of people like to receive oral sex (89% of women and 94% of men), an impressive 77% of women and 72% of men also loved giving oral sex.
What’s more, 65% of women and 68% of men say that if oral sex wasn’t an option, they’d opt not to have their affairs. It’s a deal-breaker for the majority of the people who answered.
While this is a highly limited survey, not perfectly representative of the population at large, it does clue us in on some things about oral sex. Besides the fact that most of us love it, for most of us, it’s a deal-breaker; and beyond that, 57% of women and 66% of men said they’d stick with someone who wasn’t great elsewhere in the bedroom if they were masters of oral sex.
What does this tell us?
It tells us that while we value great oral sex, not all of us are the artful masters at giving it that we think we are. If people thought they could receive mind-blowing oral sex from elsewhere with ease, they wouldn’t be so likely to hang onto a partner that was lacking in their sexual A-game in other departments.
It also tells us that oral sex is an act of passion. It’s something we do with partners we truly care about, people we feel close to—it’s an intimate act quite unlike most others—it leaves us vulnerable before someone else and it allows us the spotlight where we may perform for someone else, depending on who’s giving and who’s receiving.
As Sigurd Vedal, the CEO of Victoria Milan said:
When you’re desperately in love with someone, your desire is so strong you want to eat them, taste them, consume every part of them. Out of love, you will continually perform oral sex. It’s a sign of love, desire, and admiration. If your partner is lying back and enjoying the act but only reciprocates every so often, you can safely say you’re more in love with them than they are with you – and they are definitely enjoying the ride.
All this is very interesting, but there’s a whole lot more to the story of why we love oral sex.