You Don't Need to Worry About How Your Penis Looks
I've seen a lot of cut vs. uncut questions lately. Let's talk about it.
Penises are beautiful.
There, I said it. And I’ll say that again because it’s incredibly rare that you ever hear someone say those words, penises are beautiful.
No, I’m not about to go on a dirty-talking rant that reads like the script of a 1980s porno movie. I mean it when I say that men’s penises can be beautiful just like any other body part.
And, just like any other body part, penises can be beautiful in both sexual and non-sexual ways. I appreciate muscle definition on a man’s arms in sexual and non-sexual ways. I find myself in awe over a woman’s curves in sexual and non-sexual ways. So why not the penis?
Serious question.
In a world that often conflates nudity with sexuality, it's important to recognize that the human body is a remarkable canvas of shapes, lines, and contours. Even the unique scent of a man’s penis is something special that his partner should treasure.
The male genitalia, like most other body parts, is a masterpiece of evolution and biology. It’s got such a simple design, yet, it’s multi-functional, working for both pleasure and pissing. It doesn’t have the intricacy of a hand, the grace of a foot, or the elegant contours of the face. But what it lacks in complexity, it makes up for with charm and individuality.
Penises like fingerprints. No two are alike.
Before a man pulls his pants down, you have no idea what you’re getting. It could be a mushroom or a cucumber, curved, long, short, wide, fat, skinny, dark, light, pink, black, red, brown, and so much more. They can be circumcised or uncircumcised, hairy, trimmed, or shaved. There are countless variations of beautiful penises out there.
Sure, most women have slight preferences for different types. But just because we have a slight preference for something doesn’t mean everything else turns us off.
I’ve never seen one that turned me off once we were naked and about to have sex. Unsolicited dick pics, on the other hand, have never turned me on (or any women, for that matter).
The point is, I love dicks and think they’re beautiful. I think they’re admirable body parts, even when I’m not having sex with them. I admire them when staring at male nudes, watching porn, or even watching an HBO series that has lots of floppy penile goodness.
But, for some reason, our culture has tried its hardest to convince us that the penis can’t be beautiful. Dicks are supposed to be purely functional, says society. They probably say that because it’s a little bit easier to sell products with half-naked women on them than half-naked men.
Put a bikini-clad woman in your ads for farm equipment and watch sales soar. And while the male underwear model can drive clothing sales, it’s not the same.
Dicks and Double Standards
I remember when I was young, I picked up on a stark contrast in the way male nudity was treated compared to female nudity. Women’s nudity is revered. It’s imbued with power and allure.
Male nudity is laughed at like it’s a joke.
Remember the show Jackass?
It was funny. But it was a bunch of naked men we laughed at because the naked male body is supposed to be funny.
It irks me that men are regularly depicted as unsexy, even incapable of being sexy, which is a lie. We’re constantly told that if men don’t look like Calvin Klein models with porn star penises, they’re not up to par.
No wonder men are deeply insecure about their penises (and other body parts). They worry about their penis size, the impact of their penis size on their social lives, and the overall appearance of their penises.
They’ve even devised a name for these insecurities when they get really bad. They call it “small penis syndrome,” and I’m not even kidding. I wish I was.
The icing on the cake is how often society blames men for feeling insecure about their dicks after a lifetime of media messages painting penises in a less-than-flattering light.
Funny how, for so many people, body positivity stops at men.
I think it’s time for an honest talk about penises so men can begin to finally feel comfortable in their own skins.
Size Rarely Matters
One of the most common concerns among men is the size of their schlong. It's time to debunk the myth that bigger is always better. The truth is, there is no universal standard for size, and what one person may consider ideal, another may find uncomfortable.
Not to mention, sexual pleasure and satisfaction are not solely determined by size but by numerous factors, like body fit, position, emotional connection, communication, and technique. And some men can be too big for comfort when they’re with some women.
Men all over the world are worried about their penis size, and it doesn’t help that there are so many mixed messages about dick size. They wonder if they’re big enough to make women happy.
It’s heartbreaking, and it reminds me of when I was young and used to wonder to myself, am I pretty enough?
Men’s insecurity is their way of wondering, is my penis enough?
I’m going to be honest here and say there’s no simple answer to questions about penises being enough. There are too many variables involved.
But I can promise you this—it matters much less than you think it does in almost every case. Dick size and shape matter depending on who’s asking. Different people have different tastes and preferences.
There are size queens, and then there are the rest of us. It’s just like the way some people prefer big boobs, other people prefer small boobs, but most people are fine with any set of boobs they can get their hands on.
This study found that men are really worried about their penis size. 55% of men were unhappy with their penis size. But only 15% of women are unhappy with their partner’s size.
And those women are still with those partners, aren’t they?
Yeah, you can find studies that say that women prefer a penis that’s average or a little above average. But, honestly, we have more important things to worry about. It’s a minor concern, and only once in a while does it actually become an issue when two people just don’t fit together.
Hips make a huge difference. Some guys have wide hips that make it hard to get close enough for deep penetration. There are other ways it can be hard to fit together that have nothing to do with the penis.
But again, this is super rare.
The good people are going to love you and will be attracted to you no matter what you have. The ones who don’t weren't meant to be.
Do Women Prefer it Un/Cut?
I’ve seen a ton of posts online recently asking whether or not women prefer circumcised or uncircumcised men. I imagine it’s the second-most common male insecurity about the penis. I know this is a divisive topic, so I’m going to avoid the politics of circumcision in this article.
Both types of penis are loveable. Just like with size, most women have a preference, but most of us don’t care much. Women usually like the kind. of penises that are most popular where they grew up. Here in America, circumcised dicks are more popular. In some other countries, uncircumcised dicks are more common.
I’ve had circumcised and uncircumcised. I enjoyed certain things about both. Circumcised dicks are clean and smooth, and they slide in and out so easily; uncircumcised dicks are raw, natural, and fun to play with.
I once had an ex-boyfriend with a lot of scar tissue all over his head after an accident. I didn’t care. It was different looking, but it loved me just the same as the others.
I’ve seen all sorts of beautiful dicks with all shapes, colors, and sizes, and I’ve been turned on by all of them regardless of my personal preferences. A dick doesn’t have to be perfect to be wonderful.
Wrapping it Up (or Not)
Just like faces come in a variety of shapes and sizes, so do penises. The diversity of the dick is part of the uniqueness of each individual. Celebrating this variety fosters a greater appreciation for the nuances of humanity.
It will definitely lead to more and better sex too.
If you’ve trusted nothing else I’ve said, trust me when I say that almost nobody is going to reject you for how your penis looks.
Think about it this way: Do you have any friends who would reject a woman for being a B cup instead of a C cup? I didn’t think so. And in case you do, may I suggest finding some new friends?
Keep this in mind when thinking about your penis (or someone else’s). I’d love it if men could feel more secure with whatever penis they were born with.
But I know this is easier said than done (I’ve had a lot of insecurities, believe me). Still, I hope men can learn to feel more comfortable in their own skin, recognizing that their worth extends far beyond physical attributes, but as far as physical attributes go, how your penis looks isn’t important to most people.
Dicks are beautiful. It’s okay, we can admit it.
If you love my writing, tip me on CashApp!
This is a superb article. I see you’re putting the advice I gave you over on Medium to good use. Two questions. If you’re accepting writers at Wild & Sexy, would you mind adding me? And would you be down to repost this on The Science of Sex? I think my audience would like it a lot, it’s really great. If not, no worries. Let me know.
Wow, thanks for this post :) This is really important to hear for all men. I have a very particular body type, so I never considered my body "sexy", and I can still remember the (few) specific times lovers made compliments about my body. This is very empowering and important, and still helps with my body image today.
I've had quite a lot of compliments on my dick though, and honestly it also helped tremendously to be told. To women reading this : please compliment us on whatever you like about us. Body positivity is important for us too.
About size, I also saw this question so many times I wrote a couple posts about it, where I came to the same conclusion. It's not that it doesn't matter, it's just that bigger is not always better :
https://forfuckssake.substack.com/p/does-size-matter
I did learn something with the wide hips thing though. I had no idea this could influence the size perception (of course, I have only one set of hips :P), but it makes total sense !
P.S. : I don't have your email to thank you personally, but thanks a lot for the recommandation to your subscribers :)